November 22nd
3:28 PM

Truths for Fat People


written by a fat person.

  1. You are beautiful.  Not always and not to everyone, but we are all beautiful and deserving of love. 
  2. You do not have justify your body to anyone.  Not to your family, your friends, your doctor, your partners.  It is your body.  No one else’s.
  3. You are allowed to take up space.  Use the world around you to your advantage.  Be present in the world in as much space as you need to feel comfortable and safe.
  4. You are more than your body.  You have emotional, spiritual, and mental worth.  People might see your body first, but everything else about you matters just as much.
  5. You are allowed to change your body if you want to.  You can gain or lose weight if it is your choice to do so.  No one should shame you for either choice.  You are also allowed to keep your body exactly the way it is right now, in this moment.
  6. You are allowed to be angry over fatphobia.  You do not have to sit quietly and let those around you make you feel bad for your size.  You can be angry, resentful, hurt, sad.  You can speak out against fatphobia.  You can reject diet and weight loss talk if you do not want to hear it.
  7. You can use the word fat.  If you feel fat, you can use the word fat.  You can reclaim it as a positive.  You can use fat as a descriptor.  No one can tell you that you are too small to use it.  If it is part of who you are, do what’s best for you.
  8. You can love other fat people.  You can make fat and fat ally communities.  You can surround yourself with positive forces.  You can make fat love.  You can fat love yourself.
  9. You can wear what you want.  Crop tops and short shorts.  Mumus.  Tutus and ties.  It is up to you.  Don’t let societal pressures like ‘flattering’ dictate your outfits.
  10. You can be fat.  That is good.  That is ok.  That is a celebration. 
May 17th
2:10 AM


I really truly actually do like my body. Seriously! It’s not an act or a joke. It’s not the faux “I don’t care what you think” attitude that got me through junior high and high school. It’s not wannabe political, fishing for compliments, trying to be okay with “imperfection.” I honestly like my body.

Sometimes I love it. Various parts of it I love all the time. Some parts I’m ambivalent about, and, yes, there are days when I’m not a fan of it. But I do like my body. I don’t want to change it. I don’t want to slim, flatter, hide, minimize, diminish, destroy, smooth, shape, vanish, erase, melt away my rolls, cellulite, flabby arms, beer belly, stretch marks, double chins, big butt. I. like. my. body. Honestly!

That doesn’t stop me from being uncomfortable in public sometimes - like when being squished into too-small theatre seats, or trying to fold myself into certain bathroom stalls, or being bumped into on the bus. Liking my body doesn’t stop me feeling awkward when people talk about dieting and weight loss around me, but it’s not guilt over my size but me wondering what they think of me and my body. Liking my body doesn’t stop my ingrained habit of sucking in my stomach for pictures. Liking my body doesn’t keep me from getting nervous when seeing a healthcare professional because God knows what they’re going to say to me about my body. Liking my body doesn’t stop me wondering if anyone in this city actually finds me attractive.

I like my body. It doesn’t need to change at all. I don’t want to change its size or shape. Everyone else needs to get their heads out of their asses. That’s all.

Truth Time:

I don’t like my body. Not like this. Not yet.

For me, it’s an act. An “I don’t care what you think” attitude that I put on to get me through my days and my adult life. It is wannabe political, trying to be okay with “imperfection.” Sometimes it’s even fishing for compliments.

I have to be okay with that. That has to be enough. For me. For now. Because I can’t have not loving it enough added to the list of things that are wrong about my body. I need to find a way to get to here and this is the best way I know… 

Maybe someday I’ll be able to say ‘I like my body’ and it will just be that simple.

In the meantime I’ll just keep doing what I know how to do; giving my body all the love I can (even if it’s compromised) and looking at pictures of dreamboats like this on tumblr and trying to draw some strength from their powerful words and self-expressions.

May 16th
11:50 PM

Like it or not, fat people are at war. I’m not hyperbolizing or dramatizing. If you don’t believe me, Google “War on obesity”. Tonight HBO premiered its new documentary series “The Weight of a Nation”. On the premiere page it says “Obesity in America has reached a catastrophic level. Almost every aspect of our lives is threatened. The first step toward ending the damage is learning how to fight back.”

I spend a lot of my time politely asking people to please stop oppressing me. I don’t apologize for that, nor do I begrudge it – it’s proven to be a very effective way to create change and I think that people deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt and the support they need to shift their thinking, and it’s a reasonably pleasant form of activism. I will continue to do it.

But I also have to acknowledge that there is a war being waged against me because of how I look, by people who have been given every opportunity to know better. In concert with HBO’s documentary, I received a Tweet letting me know that Kaiser Permanente is launching the “most aggressive anti-obesity campaign in history.”

They know that there are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people. They know that not a shred of research shows that any method of weight loss works in the long term. They know that research shows us that we could vastly increase health by providing access to healthy foods, safe movement options, and affordable/free evidence based health care. Nobody is obligated to be healthy or thin; however, I wonder how many people would make different choices if they knew they just need 30 minutes of moderate movement 5 days a week? If they knew that people who choose simple healthy habits have very similar health outcomes regardless of weight. What would people choose if they knew they could abandon the goal of weight loss completely and they could still pursue health. America could be a successful role model for giving people access to health, but instead they are choosing to be a failed role model for thinness - waging war on people based on their appearance for tremendous profit and actively blaming the casualties of the war for the war’s massive failures.

Let’s be clear - they are pathologizing a body size. It doesn’t matter if they say that we need to seek solutions environmentally instead of at the individual level, or if they say that we should have “compassion” for fat people – they are still telling people that is is not ok to exist in fat bodies and that they should see fat bodies as a threat to America. There are tons of thin people who eat unhealthy foods and are sedentary (which is completely their right), but as far as the government is concerned, as long as you are thin you’re part of the “solution,” feel free to do whatever you want. They want people to look at me (and you, if you’re fat) and think “She is part of a catastrophe. She is threatening almost every aspect of our lives. The first step toward ending the damage is learning how to fight back against her.”

I say that if they want a war, I will damn well give them one.

March 7th
4:01 AM


TW: light conversation on the topic disordered eating

HUNGRY VIRGINZ: Intuitive Eating 101 (subtitles here)

In this video Jessica and I move away from the hilarity of unbridled Hungry Virginity storytelling videos of the past and have an informative afternoon tea party discussing the merits of Intuitive Eating and how it might help people with disordered eating habits (or just people who want to love food more/differently) in reclaiming, celebrating, and re-negotiating their relationships with food. Yay! This video is long and I am almost unbearably dorky, but we hope you watch it and share it with people that it might help. 


What Is Intuitive Eating? (click to find out more!) 
What  have our fat fairy god mothers said about this?
Lesley Kinzel wrote about it here and here
Marianne Kirby wrote about it here, here, here, here, here and here
Kate Harding wrote about it here, here, here and here
we love all of you so much! xoxo

i am so grateful for this. when you need something so much but you didn’t even know it until it shows up on your dash in the form of ultimate wisdomtruth dispensing dreamboats.

February 15th
7:21 PM
"But as to the accusation that we are enabling obesity, we are guilty as charged. As a Fat Activist, I hope to enable fat people to live their lives without fear or regret; I hope to enable fat people to pursue the lives they wish to live now, rather than waiting for those last 10 pounds to start living; I hope to enable fat people to pursue health to the best of their abilities and desires without consideration for the concern trolling of strangers; I hope to enable fat people to expand their understanding and appreciation of health and fitness, and to embrace the amazing potential of their bodies; and I hope to enable fat people to see bigotry and hatred for what it is."
January 31st
2:24 AM

It’s not a goddamn coincidence that fat women receive more harassment about their weight than fat men, yo.


I repeat: it’s never about health. It’s never about health. IT’S NEVER ABOUT HEALTH.

It’s about how sexually available you are, because everyone knows if you’re not fuckable, you’re totally worthless.

January 28th
7:34 PM
"I want and have wanted to be respected, appreciated, passionately loved in every way possible, and treated like a human being—not just tolerated, not just accepted. I hope to find allies and friends and love on my journey, but until then I’ll learn to truly enjoy my own company without guilt and as little pain as possible."
—  Ms. Queenly (via everysmilealie)
January 23rd
3:03 AM
"‘What roles are Gabourey Sidibe going to get at her size?’ It’s disgusting to hear the way people talk. I hope someday to write those roles, if they really don’t exist. My size, her size—we won’t have to hide and we will be the main characters, not just of the hard knock stories either."

Ms. Queenly (via everysmilealie)

why shouldn’t all the roles be open to her? why can’t she star in any ordinary movie where the character’s age is close enough to her own? why are fat bodies only allowed when fat is a main theme?

i cried at a party once because a friend whom i admired was complimenting me and told me that i was juliet. i have struggled long and hard thinking of the limitations my body gives me when it comes to roles in theatre… but it’s not my body, it’s the industry that limits me. who’s to say juliet wasn’t fat?

(via myownbody)

I was thinking after I wrote the quote was that people are in such a hurry to have roles where a fat character’s weight isn’t part of main plot that they are overlooking the fact that roles where size/weight are part of the plot (in the ways we want to see them) haven’t happened yet in any break-through kinds of ways (that I know of, as a fat, Black woman having been a chubby child).

Having these roles is a cathartic and necessary to political expression and body movements. I think that many mainstream roles by default are created intentionally to exclude fat women/people from consideration which is why new roles need to be created, even as the nature of the media itself marginalizes fat bodies.

There should be roles with size/weight in mind and portrayed in ways many of us can get behind through fat characters, as well as breaking apart the idea that only thin women can play traditional and mainstream roles, like Juliet. Both are necessary.  ~Ms. Queenly (via everysmilealie)

And I was thinking after I wrote my comments that although I do think it’s important to acknowledge that universal human experiences are universal, and that way more types of people should be represented experiencing these universals, it is also important to acknowledge that there are some experiences that are specific to certain people (in this case fat people) and it is just as important to see those specific experiences more widely recognized and explored (in this case in film). I think we completely agree - I want more stories expressly about fat people even though I don’t want fats relegated only to stories revolving around this one (important) facet of their experiences.

September 8th
10:41 PM

[TW: Body Issues, Fat Shaming]


the short doc i made

now with a transcript!:


(Different voices chopped up and layed over short clips of the filmmaker’s naked, white, fat body) fat/ fat/ fat/ fat/ fat/ fat/ fat/ fat/ fat (until black screen comes up with bold white lettering reading ‘FAT’)

[part 1] 

(Clips of the filmmaker’s head, face, and lips during an interview are cut together but do not match) 

My whole life growing up I had been taught to dislike my body, and specifically my fat/ I had been dissociating my from my body/ you really cement this separation between your self and your body/I started a blog, a weight loss blog, so that I would loose my fat/ I discovered so many other blogs, including fat acceptance blogs/ I was being told to love my body, specifically my fat/ (slow zoom out from the eyes begins until cut to the mouth which finally matches audio) I’ve just been working on figuring out my relationship with all these different concepts and ideas being thrown at me about my fat.

[part 2]

(Four static shots of women who are friends of the filmmaker being interviewed. They are each placed in the same frame: shot from at the chest up, sitting in a green chair with a window behind them to the right and a lamp on the left)

(1) Do I think you’re fat? … (shakes head) I don’t think you’re fat… like, no.

(2) No. I don’t think, Margaret, you’re fat.

(3) Yeah, I would say… (hesitates and sighs) I don’t like- I- I don’t- like, in a general term…..(sighs) I don’t-

(4) I think you are fat in a way that is removed from the kinds of awful connotations that come with that word in the society that we live in.

[part 3]

(Longer clips of the filmmaker’s body are cut together: the camera moves up the legs and down the back and around the stomach, the filmmaker’s hands play with her fat and her nails are painted bright red. The audio is clips from the four women’s interviews overlapping quite heavily) 

/You’re my friend I think that calling someone fat is not nice, I think it’s rude

 /I still say that like to use the term fat necessarily, I think it’s rude and I think it’s wrong; it’s used incorrectly in our culture 

/I don’t like that word, it makes me feel so uncomfortable 

/When I first met you, I remember thinking like “oh, she’s a bigger girl!” 

/ And I noticed that you were fat but I…

/ If I hadn’t gotten to know you, I sometimes wonder, and this is gonna sound bad, but I sometimes wonder if, like, if I would have seen you as- …someone 

/ If it means losing that five pounds, why don’t you wanna do that for yourself?

/ No I don’t think fat’s a bad thing to be

 / I don’t know when at what point people stop seeing people as fat

/ I don’t know at what point you can start considering yourself fat, or at what point you can stop considering yourself skinny, or you know whatever in between

/ But what are you eating?

/ It’s not just a word, it means so many things when you say that word

/ It’s a word that you reclaim, and its an identity that you reclaim

/ Why are you celebrating this? Knowing that what you’re putting into your body is unhealthy? 

/ I guess…in a lot of ways other people determine when you are or aren’t fat; you don’t really get much of a say in that

/ I feel like when people say fat they’re picturing, like I don’t even know what they’re picturing, but it’s not nice you know what I mean? It’s never like ‘you’re so fat! …and lovely.’

/ That’s gross, right??

/ I think that when I call somebody fat and if I were to describe you as fat to somebody else, I would be also describing you as someone like, horrible and disgusting and, you know… and that’s really really fucked up

/ The word is just - does not make me feel very good to say 

/ Llooking at a picture of you from before, it’s a completely different person. And I’m not saying you… I don’t think you weren’t beautiful, I don’t think you weren’t a beautiful person…

/ I’m not saying you’re not beautiful ’cause I don’t think you’re fat so you know…

/ I guess fat is lard. That you cook with. 

/ Cut the gristle off the meat 

/ But I don’t think you can point to someone and be like ‘lard’

/ Why wouldn’t I describe you as fat to a friend?

/ ‘You’re fat!’ -and mean it-  I don’t know ….you…..are…. I feel like if someone said to you (long pause) you’re an awful person, or like, you’re not worth knowing…

(Pans out from the eyes to the whole naked body of the filmmaker sitting with her legs folded on the interview chair. She keeps eye contact with the camera the whole time and gives a slight shrug before the screen goes black for the credits)