what do i write about this past weekend?
do i write about how it was not as good as last year?
that i enjoyed my company more last year but the music more this year? and then write my thoughts out as i try to figure out which is more important in a music festival…
do i admit that i cried watching santigold? i was so damn close and she looked me in the eyes a few times and i just worshiped her with my dancing and screaming.
what about lp? how much i am smitten? how i want to follow her on tour from show to show just basking in her voice every night.
the jezabels? i had no idea what to expect from their performance but hayley mary moved so strangely and magnificently and i was captivated.
what about discovering passion pit and m83 beyond the one song each i’d known?
and then there is all the stuff about seeing a.b. about last year this being the weekend i fell in love. about how he is not the kind of person i want to be surrounding myself with. about how that doesn’t matter when i see him and he touches me and i’m gone. about how i tried to be cool. about how that means there are things unsaid. about how his friends are dicks. about how emma was hating on me and i don’t know why. how i secretly hope it’s because a.b.’s in love with me and i’m breaking her friend’s heart.
should i write my observations of shitty 21yr old white cis hetero boys who try to one up each other with constant streams of banal truisms for 14 hour car rides.? about how glad i am i have so few in my life?
why waste my time saying i’ve decided i like shitty tom? he’s fun. he’s a good time. i would just never trust him. especially not when others’ feelings should be taken into consideration. and his name is shitty tom not fun tom even though fun tom is kind of shitty so….
i want to remember the time i spent with whalesy. i want to remember us supporting each other. in general with minor heartbreaks and specifically with her being particularly amazing during my crankiest moments.
i could write how i know now to always bring my own weed to music festivals. self-reliance is key.
touch on how fucking killer my outfits were.
remember how great my dad can be.. (and my mum but i don’t often forget with her) when he shows his love with hospitality and food for me and companions (and check-ins) and how warm that love is and valuable in its own way.
don’t forget how i ran into plant! but alas no skeet. i did see (fun) tom! and he called me maggie and i felt special and it was a good remedy for a.b. i saw casey and dave. i saw graeme and ally and had thoughts about how last summer was all so different…
the last-summer-memories this weekend brought back? my youth was officially not wasted. when christina offered me the job she later denied me and we loved on each other through tears. straight gin yo in the hand sanis. balling through the hip with a different boy on my mind (bonner.) guarding sleep and falling in love (mentioned twice). breakfast and shopping with jojo. no air conditioning in our suit. seeing fraser (wishing i could this year). a.b.’s sexy plans and how i beat him to them. and a million little moments…
but this year my hair was purple and my lips were bright and my shirts were sheer.
and pizza cones.